Saturday, June 04, 2005

Why not?

Okay, I'll fill this one out, but mostly because the other stuff that's on my mind is simply too hard to write about right now.


1. Have you ever had sex in a tent?
Yes. More than once. The last time, we were both drunk on tequila and got in a fight and woke the neighbors up. I believe it was in Maryland and I was about 25. Next time, I'd like the tent to be somewhere more secluded. And maybe the sex could happen outside the tent.

Update: Oh yeah, I just remembered. I lost my virginity in a tent.

2. Do you own more than 100 cd's?
Yeah. Pretty good considering I was the LAST PERSON ON THE PLANET to get a CD player. And even then, only because I won it in a contest. Now I not only own CDs, but a Mac on which I download MP3s (for which I've paid!) and burn mega cool compilations for my friends. Once you go digital...

3. Have you ever been so drunk that you have passed out?
It's possible. Define passed out.

4. Have you ever dated a goth?
I don't think so, but I've certainly known my share in my life. At my age, I'd laugh at any Goth who wanted to date me.

5. Have you ever regretted a date?
That I couldn't get those two hours of my life back? Yes.

6. Have you ever seen a ghost/ufo
Only when one of my friends sends me some Photoshopped fake. But I have stayed places that were inhabited by ghosts - I just never saw the ghosts themselves.

7. Have you ever done anything you could be arrested for?
Yes, but not in a LONGGGGGG time. I wouldn't preclude it from my future however. Especially if the Bush Theocracy continues for too many years.

8. Have you ever done anything you could go to jail for?
Don't think so. But again, don't preclude it.

9. Have you ever broken a bone?
Not one of my own.

10. Have you ever crashed a car?
No. That's because I haven't driven a car in over 10 years. Crashing a car is probably all I could do if I were to ever get behind a steering wheel again.

11. Have you ever refused a date because of what your friends might think?
Um, no. My friends think I make bad choices in men. Hmmm, maybe I should get new friends?

12. Have you ever listened to a song and cried?
Are you kidding?!! Sometimes I put a song on or see a movie specifically BECAUSE it will make me cry. Hell, Chase credit card commercials make me cry. ("24 percent interest rates. Boo hoo. Usury. Waaaah! Incorporated in South Dakota. Drool. Political lobbying and payback. Gurgle. New debt slavery, I mean, bankruptcy legislation. Choke. Sniff.")

13. Have you ever seen your favorite band/singer perform live?
Yes. Most recently it was Andrew Bird. My favs are always changing though.

14. Have you ever been found sleep walking?
No, but I talk and sometimes fuck in my sleep.

15. Have you ever dated someone a decade older than you?
Yes. I was 28 and he was 52. What is that, 24 years? Yeah, he had a daughter who was just a couple years younger than me. That was a revelatory experience.

16. Would you date someone a decade older than you?
Maybe. Does he still have his teeth and more hair on his head than in his ears? Can he still fuck without viagara or needing to be hospitalized afterwards? Basically, he'd have to be very well preserved and capable of keeping up with me. I plan to remain vital well into my old age. I'll probably have to start dating down soon.

17. Have you ever sent a crank call or email?
Crank call, yes. Crank email no. Unless you're set up to trace phone calls, it's usually easier to trace a crank email. But I haven't done this since I was a teenager and I wouldn't recommend that anyone else do it considering the crack down on our privacy since 9/11 and the War for Oil, er, I mean, the War to Democratize Iraq.

18. Ever licked your own nipple?
No. I prefer it when someone else licks my nipple. Though I will pinch my own nipple.

19. Have you ever peed in public and been caught?
Not intentionally.

20. Have you ever had major surgery?
No, only minor. Well, I don't count my lobotomy as major considering the smallness of my brain. Oh wait, my brain isn't small, it's "petite."

21. Are you afraid of the dentist?
If he were Steve Martin from Little Shop of Horrors I would be. But all my dentists have been very nice people, thank you.

22. Do you have a tattoo?
Not yet, but one day. I have the design figured out and everything. I just need to come up with a discretionary $1000. Maybe after I finish law school.

23. Have you had any piercings done (not including the ears)?
No. The only thing that pierces me is a p... nevermind.

24. Do you like scary movies?
No. Life's scary enough. I mean, you should see some of the people I have to ride the subway with in the morning. Brrr. Scawy.

25. Do you like your job?
For the time being, it's better than most and I don't hate it. But someday I will have a job that I LOVE. I have to write about this more. Right livelihood seems to be a goal that increasingly saturates the current and younger generations. In theory, it should be a good thing, but it doesn't necessarily play out as good. More on this some other time.

26. Do you get along with your parents?
Not great, but better than ever. And I expect it to keep getting better.

27. Do you still have all your grandparents?
No. Never knew them on my mother's side. My father's dad died, mmm, maybe five years ago. Wasn't close to him either. My dad's mother, however, is still alive and I love her the most of anyone in my family.

28. Have you ever had a date with someone you met online?
It's the only way I meet people these days.

29. Do you ever wish you could relive your childhood?
No, no, a thousand times no. I wish I could have the boobs and skin of my 20s, but that's easily rectified with surgery.

30. I won't honor this question with an answer.

C'est tout. I'll tell you what. If anything above peaked your interest so's you want to know more, write and tell me and I will expound in a future post.

Request wisely. Be careful, as they say, what you wish for. And if your request is overtly lascivious (look it up moron), I will ignore your pathetic ass.

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