Thursday, May 26, 2005

The plus side to being a midget (or a dwarf, either one)

10. A studio apartment is spacious.

9. Spend half as much on food.

8. By extension, spend less time on the toilet.

7. Top the world record for number of clowns that fit into a Volkswagen Bug when feat is attempted by midget (or dwarf) clowns only.

6. Reduce what you spend on flying. Pack yourself into your luggage and check yourself in as freight. (I recommend you bring a sandwich, but the plus side is that it would be a smaller one than the rest of us would need.)

5. When lovers steal the covers, there's still enough left over for you.

4. No helium required.

3. The authorities don't make ankle monitors in your size.

2. Less expensive to get drunk.

And 1. No subway car is ever too crowded.

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