I provide for your amusement (depending upon your definition of "amusement") the following survey filled out by Moi.
1. What is the geekiest part of your music collection:
Barry Manilow's Greatest Hits. Yeah, make a big deal out of it why doncha.
2. What do you eat when you raid the fridge at night:
PB&J on toast with a glass of vanilla soymilk.
3. How much money would it take to give up the Internet for one year:
Interesting question, because the more money I have, the less likely I would be to give up the internet. A more suitable question would be, how broke would I have to be to give up the internet? Pretty damn broke, 'cause you can still check your email for free at the public library. Hmmm, it's sounding like I'd never give up the internet. Yeah, 'cause I'd like, say that I'd give up the internet for like, a million dollars, but then I'd cheat. I KNOW I'd cheat.
4. What is your secret guaranteed weeping movie:
Breaking the Waves. It's also the movie most likely to get me to curl up into a corner, rocking and sucking my thumb.
5. Do you have a completely irrational fear:
Getting called into my boss's office. Also, being alone at night in any living quarters that exceed 800 square feet. I guess that comes from living in New York for so long.
6. What is a physical habit that gives away your insecure moments:
My therapist says I laugh when I'm confronted with something that frightens me. I've noticed that this is true. And if it REALLY frightens me, I will laugh and also make a joke out of it.
7. Do you know anyone famous:
Define know. I've gone to school with people who have gone on to have careers in Hollywood. And I have a scar on my face given to me by Philip Seymour Hoffman. But I wouldn't say that I "know" these people. I doubt that they would recognize me in a lineup. Unless they had just witnessed me stealing their car or something. You know what I mean.
8. Describe your bed:
A full-sized mattress that sits on the floor. I'm still working on growing up and getting an adult bed. Sex is so much fun in places other than the bed, isn't it?
9. Do you know how to play poker:
Yes. I even know fancy poker, like Texas Hold 'em, Baseball, and Southern Cross. But even after two years of playing, I still have a hard time remembering if a straight beats a full-house.
10. What do you carry with you at all times?
Burt's Bees vanilla-mint lip balm.
11. What do you miss most about being little:
12. Are you happy with your given name:
Happier than I was as a child. Hey, you try growing up in the era of Purina Dog Chow's big advertising campaign with a name that ends in "chow."
13. What color is your bedroom:
I am currently between bedrooms.
14. Do you consider yourself to be a nice person:
Too nice. But if you slap the other cheek when I turn it, you won't be seeing my face again.
15. Do you spend more time with your girlfriend/boyfriend or your friends:
Equal doses with both. Though I'm spending more and more time with myself than with anyone else these days.
16. What's one thing you wish you could do but can't:
Blink like Jeanie and make wishes come true.
17. What is your ideal marriage location:
18. What's one instrument you wish you could play:
How 'bout any? I do plan to eventually teach myself the guitar and the piano. It will probably have to wait until I retire though.
19. Something you love and hate:
Nutello. One fingerful is never enough.
20. What's one language you want to learn:
I'd settle for just making the French I learned in school fluent. But living in New York? Spanish would be a good language to learn.
21. What do you order at a bar:
Scotch. Usually JWBlack.
22. Have you ever pierced your body parts:
Ears, many many years ago. Multiple times. And my heart. Also multiple times. But my heart was pierced by others, not myself.
23. Do you smoke?:
I'm a retired smoker who occasionally falls off the wagon under great loads of stress. Like during exam time in law school.
24. What's one trait you hate in a person:
Unreliability. Do what you say you're going to do; otherwise, don't fucking say it.
25. What kind of watch do you wear:
None. I use my cellphone for the time.
26. Do you consider yourself materialistic:
I can live without things. Especially many things that others feel they absolutely CAN'T live without - like cable TV and $100 jeans. But I have to say, there are some things that make life infinitely more comfortable - like hot running water and a fast internet connection. So, I wouldn't die if I didn't have certain things, but I'd bitch loudly and clearly.
27. Favorite writing instrument:
A Watermark Fountain Pen given to me by a friend many years ago when I first decided to write.
28. Do you prefer to blend in or stand out:
Fuck blending in; I prefer to be invisible.
29. Do you ever go out dressed like the opposite sex:
Does wearing pants count?
31. If you won the lottery, what would you do:
How big a lottery are we talking here?
1) Finish law school and pay off all my debts
2) Buy a house for me; a house for my parents; a house for my sister and nephews; and start up an education fund for my nephews
3) Start a public interest/pro bono practice
4) Start a foundation
5) Take enough time off to travel the world and finally write those books that have been rattling around in my head for so long
6) And if there's anything left over, get some plastic surgery done
32. Burial or cremation:
What?!! You mean immortality isn't an option? Has anyone told Walt Disney this yet? What?!!! Walt Disney is dead!??
33. If you don't like a person, how do you show it:
I cut that person out of my life.
34. What kind of first impression do you think you give people?
Cold and formal, but funny.
35. Describe what you're wearing:
Blue silk shirt, chino capris and brown leather platform shoes. It's all about the shoes baby.
36. What is your heritage:
My mother is Vietnamese with possibly some French thrown in; my father, a German/Irish/Norwegian hybrid.
37. Favorite candy:
38. Do you have a problem changing clothes in front of your friends:
Of course. But I don't have any problem changing into a grey-haired, shrieking harridon in front of my friends. It's a good party trick.
Episode 3 – The Forest Dark - Are you scared of the woods? What about the woods at night? In this Halloween episode, I talk about a handful of forests that have strange, spooky and haun...
4 months ago