Seen 'n Heard This Week in New York

1 - On the subway, a man and a woman are sitting together. The woman is looking out the window, obviously peeved about something. The man gets the hint that she is peeved about something he's done. He makes a half-assed attempt to make it up to her, leaning his nose into her cheek, making a joke she doesn't laugh at, and then kissing her neck. None of it works. Then he taps at her cheek, like tamping the tobacco out of a pipe. Not a pat or a slap, but something in-between. Ungentle but not damaging. Hint to all you guys: this is not an effective method of getting your girl to stop being angry at you.

2 - Also seen on the subway: two skinny people get up so that one fat person could sit down. No joke. This one fat person took up the same amount of space as two slender ADULTS.

3 - Blackout in Fort Greene, Brooklyn. It lasted a little over 24 hours. I spent the night at a friend's place. It was enough however, to throw the rhythm of my whole week off. ConEd says burned wires caused it, but they still don't understand why it affected just those couple of blocks.

4 - My first ever two pound lobster. Yes, I ate the WHOLE thing. I usually order a pound and a half, but they were out (no, I did not pay the waiter at The Oyster Bar to say that). It was my birthday this past Friday. And that meant devouring the aforementioned lobster after slugging dirty martinis at the Campbell Apartment, and lots of furious monkey-sex in a posh hotel room next to Grand Central in between. Oh, and breakfast-in-bed the next morning, compliments of room service. And this wasn't even my present. I think I'll keep this one around for awhile.

5 - Seen on the side of a truck - "VIBRANETICS - Engineered solutions to vibration problems."

6 - The latest Gorillaz album, Demon Days. The best use of synthesizers since the 80s ended.