Wednesday, August 02, 2006

Unable to concentrate.

Haven't done any work in about two hours.*

Found a new blog today. Posted the following comment:

"I agree with Brad, if you're still living at home you're not ready to have sex, regardless of your gender and age.

As for the power dynamics argument - men say things to women to get them into bed. A 40 year old male is more practiced at this than a 17 year old male. And a 30 year old female is wiser in gaugeing a man's sincerity than a 14 year old female. There is a power dynamic here based on simple age and life experience that puts any 17 year old (male or female) at a disadvantage against any 30-40 year old. This is why a 40 year old male should not be allowed to compete for a 17 year old female.

Everyone commenting here is male, right? Here's my question, what on earth would a 40 year old male want with a 17 year old female? I've read theories that older women - read wiser and more intellectually demanding - emasculate men. That it's easier for a man to feel masculine with an inexperienced girl who worships the ground he walks on than to be with a woman who is closer to his age and who will hold him to her higher expectations. But all my male friends claim they won't date someone under a certain age because dealing with the immaturity outweighs the arousal. And yet the winter/spring phenomenon persists in our culture. Why? The first thought is sex. But really, a 17 year old virgin isn't going to be better in bed than a 30 year old with some experience (barring any sexual neuroses). Does seeing a poreless face going at your member outweigh the artless blowjob?"

Perhaps some of you can help enlighten me? I'll also add Olympia Dukakis' theory from Moonstruck: men have affairs because they fear death.

*Funny, I originally wrote "Haven't done any work in about two years." Talk about Freudian slip.


Gina said...

Conversely why would a 17 year old male want to sleep with a 40something woman? I get come on's like that all the time and it baffles me. Why do these young bucks even think that I would be interested in taking them under my wing to teach them the art of sex? It's crazy! I'd feel like I'm sleeping with one of my son's friends and that's just wrong. Yet, men seem to not have these protective instincts at all. What's that say?

rousseau said...

Unfortunately arguing about moral ethics with people that reduce humans to medival animalistic behavior, i.e. procreation, is impossible(Constant). Men of 40 (and much fewer woman because of the lack of said power, mentioned below) go after girls of 14 thru ...(take your pick of an age below 30) because of power, not sex in my humble opinion. Sex is a by product of their possession/obsession, not the motivator. The enjoyment of the act is not all that significate, I surmise. The power is the motivator.
In the end these men have acheived nothing except a faulty sense of power or sad addiction. No different from alcoholism, etc...except for the horrendous effect on another human being.
The best response to the argument set forth about fertility/procreation is "bullshit". I don't think these so called "men" are thinking about procreation.

Belle Ambrose said...

Gina, I'm not sure what it says. And just to clarify, I know men who are not like this. But even men who aren't like this, at least understand why other men are like this. Perhaps the most we can hope for is men to understand themselves and not act on those instincts (or lack thereof, as in your comment). That's what the good guys seem to do.

Rousseau, I've considered the power theory and it makes sense to me. But not all men who are predatory in this way are dumb. I'd think they'd understand that this type of power is false. Who's more powerful, the man who's lived up to the expectations of a woman who knows better, or a man whose achievements are only high enough to impress an unwordly sylph?

rousseau said...

I believe that most predators are anything but stupid. Yes, you would think they would know better, yet look at the Catholic priest/predator fiasco. Intellegent, highly respected men who do unconscionable acts. Again, I see this as a prime example of power issues. We can also open a larger can of worms by adding in that the American societial treatment of sex as something dirty and not to be talked about or enjoyed may have something to do with this as well.

Understanding that this power(we are discussing) is false and separating it from their desire to feel this power even if it is fleeting is hard to fathom or understand.

Ultimately a man who seeks a woman who challenges him, doesn't let him get by with anything, and makes him want to be a better person by just being around her is what we, as men, should all strive for. I works both ways and it's all about keeping your standards high. That's hard these days. But the reward is worth the wait. Look how lucky I am.