Friday, September 28, 2007

Like omigod! That's so tubular. or Random Thoughts from the Wandering Lawyer III

Like, Moon Unit Zappa turns 40 today. Omigod! I am so old.

Or, I still have half my life to look forward to. And now that I am actually beginning to understand my way in this life, I suppose that it, the rest of my life that is, is worth looking forward to.

I feel different these days. I'm not sure how to explain it. I've been on a temporary admin assignment these past few weeks, and it's been pretty good, but not for the salary or because it's fun or anything. But because it's given me the apples-to-apples comparison helpful in seeing exactly how far I've come. Not only in my Word skills, but in my ability to handle people and my ability to take control and manage my life. A few years ago, I would have grabbed this job and hung on for dear life, despite the fact that it's terribly stressful and way beneath me, because my fear of not having any money ruled the day. Not any more. My fear used to weigh so heavily because I lacked belief in my own value. It's easier for me to risk unemployment because I am certain that I offer something to the world - something it needs - and that my place in the world will find me so long as I continue to put in the requisite effort necessary to help it do so.

Sounds simple doesn't it? Like, something we should all feel about ourselves by the time we wrap up high school. Well, I don't know about you, but it took me a helluva lot of blood, sweat, and tears (not to mention humiliation, shame, fear, and anxiety) to learn such a simple-sounding lesson. Now if I could only make this new skin fit better.

1 comment:

The Gyrl said...

Love this-of course our place can find us if we show up. Funny that I've never thought of it that way before. I want to make big signs displaying this message to replaced the overly white walls of high schools.